Morning Reflection: A disciple of desire.

A disciple of desire.

It seems that one of my constant, ongoing and unrelenting struggles in life is to find discipline. Anyone who has seen my desk in my home office can attest to this. Unfinished projects, unfiled paperwork, non-actioned post it notes and incomplete ideas scribbled on any available paper.

I wish I was more disciplined, yet in some areas of my life, I have discipline.

Since finally making the decision to lose weight almost 2 years ago, I have lost over 140lbs naturally, no supplements, medication or surgery. Obviously this is not something I could have managed without discipline, yet I struggle to take that strength of will and apply in other areas of my life.

Truthfully, I have found that a discipleship of desire is the birthplace of discipline, yet the associations in my subconscious are very different regarding some of those words.

The word disciple evokes feelings of reverence, but also power. I think not only of spiritual discipleship, but also of physical strength, emotional control and financial freedom.

Yet when I consider the word discipline, my association is a negative one, and I find myself immediately wanting to move away from anything that looks like discipline imposed upon me, not generated from within myself.

But the more disciplined I am in my life, the greater sense of freedom and peace I find within myself.

In my attempts to become more disciplined, I realize that I have to manage my desire in order to manipulate my discipline.

That which I desire strongly breeds of itself the discipline necessary to achieve or possess it.

So I find myself becoming a disciple of desire, so that I might have the discipline to achieve my dreams.

What do you desire?

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: A Sacred Existence

A sacred existence.

Today, I invite you to pause, and reflect. Reflect upon the unbelievable opportunity that you have been given to be alive, now, here.

In the midst of all of life’s trials, tribulations, struggles and strife, there can come an overwhelming joy and happiness, if only you realize where you are.

While our planet, our world, has many occupants, it only has one of you. You are empowered with passion, power, potential and possibility.

If it has been a long time since you felt a sense of wonder at your existence, I invite you to consider that in all of time, in all the worlds, in every facet of reality that makes up this universe, you are here.

While here may be difficult, frightening, painful or lonely, please take a moment to look up and comprehend that our world, this sky, this ball of rock, these majestic oceans, are moving through a universe of unparalleled beauty, magnificence and grace.

And you are a part of it.

Your existence is sacred, because it is happening.

Now.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: Feeling Powerless

You only fear that over which you have no power.

My oldest son nearly died on his very first day of life. A few hours after I was blessed to help deliver him, a congenital heart defect was trying to kill him.

And there was nothing I could do.

I realized today that I have never overcome that feeling of being powerless.

To this day, I am still haunted by the realization that I could do nothing to help my son. I was at the mercy of others, dependent on someone else to do that which I could not.

I was nearly moved to tears today at the realization that what I fear most is being powerless. Unable to stand against that which assails me, unable to move in the face of an onslaught.

Powerlessness is my fear, the ghost which haunts my peace and troubles my soul in the quiet moments.

Yet in the end, we all face things against which we have no power. It is one of the similarities of the human condition, a reality that should unite us, even though often our fear will divide us.

For some it’s change, for some it’s the loss of something, for others, it’s the knowledge of their own weakness. Although our situations may differ, our experiences of feeling powerless are essentially the same.

In that moment, when we are faced with something we fear, it is important that we don’t stand alone. For while our souls may be separate, our fears and troubles can be a source of unity, strength, courage and conviction.

My hope is that I will be better at reaching out, lifting and helping others. As I struggle with my purpose, I desire to help others. Not for some eternal reward, and not for the praise of men, but simply because I desire to reduce the suffering that is present in the human condition.

Life is often cruel, but we must not be.

From the truth of the man I aspire to be… “Never cruel nor cowardly. Never give up, never give in”.

Kindness.

Always.

Dr. Alan Barnes

@losingtowin120