Showing posts with label hard things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hard things. Show all posts

Monday, February 12, 2018

Morning Reflection: Healing by Serving

Healing by serving.

All of us have injuries to our soul in one form or another. For some, it may be due to a difficult childhood, an abusive spouse, or a sudden and catastrophic loss of a part of our life that can never be recovered.

Others may have wounds that are ‘self-inflicted’, from an unwise choice, a momentary lapse in judgment, or a desire to meet a need that spirals into a history of bad choices leading to broken dreams.

No one escapes pain in this life, and no one gets to live without hardship, difficulty and struggle.

There is rarely a ‘way out’ of these situations, but there is often a way ‘through’.

If we are prepared to live it.

I recently asked a mentor of mine how I could move beyond where I am at in a certain aspect of my life. His answer touched me with a simple truth.

“Try to serve at a higher level’.

When we move from surviving to serving, we move from fear to fearlessness. When we dedicate ourselves to a greater cause than our own comfort, our pain and sadness can often be swallowed up in a servant heart, willing to bear our burden for the sake of others. When the hardships of life are viewed through a prism of hope, we encounter a sublime truth that can elevate our soul beyond its current engagement into a higher evolution.

We learn that often, our suffering is only such because of the way we interpret it. Suffering viewed through selfishness produces pain, while hardship viewed through the hope of helping others lifts us out of ourselves, and into a higher order of living.

Today, I invite you to find lift your heart through service, especially if that service stretches you beyond your current comfort into a greater giving.

Service is the pathway to peace, the decision through your difficulties, and the surest way I know to strengthen your heart to bear hardships with happiness.

Serve where you stand, and soon you will stand higher.

How may I serve you today?


-- Dr. Alan Barnes

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Closing in on Onederland

Source
If you would have told me a year ago today that I would weigh just over 200 lbs this time next year, I would have laughed at you. I would’ve thought you were crazy.

After all of my attempts at losing weight, all the failures, all of the devastation to my self-esteem and self-confidence, I wouldn’t have believed you. I would have believed my past, not my future.

There’s a huge lesson there. Your past does not determine your future. Forget the past, you can’t do anything about it and it doesn’t define what’s going to happen to you next.

So here I am, 54 weeks into a new life, and I am closing in on Onederland, where the scale starts with a 1, not a 2, not a 3.

It doesn’t seem real. It really doesn’t.

Because this last year has been very challenging both personally and professionally, I haven’t really been able to enjoy the weight loss in the way that I would have liked to.

However there have been great moments along the way, and for those I’m grateful.

I’ve had incredible support through this from my wife. Holly has been my rock, my cheerleader and sometimes the kick in the ass that I needed. This is as much her victory as mine, because without her this never could have happened. Despite frustration at some of my food choices, and a severe dislike for broccoli, she has pushed through, and pushed me through some really hard times.

Others along the way have provided support, encouragement and hope in the difficult times. You know who you are, and I’m so grateful for all you have done for me.

It’s been a long year, but I have grown, and shrunk.

I’ve done something very few people have done, and my hope is to encourage and empower people to experience the wonderful changes that I have found. There truly is hope out there.

You don’t necessarily need medication, surgery, or supplements.

You will need discipline, desire and determination, but those can be built.

I am ready to help people to become the person they can be.


In January of this year, the very generous and kind Ryan Deluca took me flying to celebrate losing 100 lbs, and to help me get over my fear of flying. It was a wonderful day, something I will never forget.


For breaking into Onederland, I’m going to push myself way, way out of my comfort zone. This time, it’s not the flying I am afraid of, it’s the falling. I’ve decided to skydive. This crazy idea started about 2 months ago, and it won’t let me go.

So it’s time to face my biggest fear head on, and see if I can find the courage to throw myself out of a perfectly good aircraft

The late Greg Plitt once said that when you break through fear, the energy that you put into the fear comes back as confidence. I wish Greg were still alive so I could show him what I’m doing. I think he’d approve.

So the weight loss continues, and leads to a date with destiny. Sometime in the near future, I will face my fears, face my future, and face my destiny.

It’s time.



Monday, April 10, 2017

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.

In one of my favorite movies, Sylvester Stallone reprises his iconic role as Rocky Balboa. During one of the film’s most memorable scenes he confronts his son, who has allowed living in the “shadow” of Rocky to become an excuse for why he is not succeeding in the way that he wants. Rocky launches into an iconic speech explaining that the world can be tough, but “it’s not about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forwards”.

My weight loss journey has been a lot like that. In fact, life seemed to get harder the longer I continued to lose weight. Even now, I’ve been consistently losing weight for almost a year and I am still having “tough days” which push me and try me. There are days when I want to fall back into old patterns of eating for comfort, and it would be so easy.

So why haven’t I given in and had a “cheat meal”? After 11 months, I can honestly say I have not had a single meal where I have broken down and eaten something outside of my profile for eating. People have asked how I have accomplished that. It comes down to one simple statement:

It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it to blow an 11-month track record for something that might taste good at the moment but that will leave a sour aftertaste long after it’s gone. It’s not worth it to put a question in my head as to my willpower. It’s not worth it because after eating something with high carbohydrates I will probably feel bloated, stupid and annoyed at myself.

The truth is, even when it looks like it, it wouldn’t be worth it.

For me, my weight loss is not just about losing weight or “getting into shape”. My weight loss is linked to much more. My weight loss is linked to transforming my life, becoming who I should be, transforming not just my waistline but my worldview and experiencing life at a whole new level.

When I keep that in mind, then the rest of it fades away. So far I have not forsaken when I want the long term for what looks good in the short term. I have my eye focused on my long-term goals. Does that mean I don’t have tough days? Absolutely not. As I write this, today has been one of those days where it seems that if it can go wrong, it’s going to try to.


But as Rocky reminds me, it’s not how hard I can get, it’s how hard I can get hit.

Sometimes you can’t punch back at life in the way you want to. All you can do is double down your efforts and continue to do what you know will work, even when it takes time, when what you really want is to be able to strike back at the universe and all its unfairness. Truth is, that gets you nowhere. Repaying frustration with anger would wound you twice. You have to move beyond, focus on who you can help and who you can serve, and then just double down and go for it.

The universe doesn’t play fair. Mother nature plays dirty, and sometimes Murphy just doesn’t know when to quit.

But if you keep your eye on the prize, and learn to keep punching even after you have been hit harder than you can ever imagine, eventually you’ll arrive at where you want to be.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Doing something new...

I did something today that I’ve never done before. In fact, until the last few months of my life, it was something that I hated.

I actually paid someone to take a picture of me.

I know, crazy right?

For me, having someone take my picture has always been something to avoid. When you’re morbidly obese, you don’t want anybody to look at you, but you especially don’t want a camera anywhere near you because you don’t want to record that image of you for history.

But I actually paid a professional photographer this morning to take a head shot of me. I assured her that she will have to use a lot of Photoshop to make it look good. :-)

I’m kind of nervous to see how it turns out.