Morning Reflection: Take a moment to wonder

Take a moment to wonder.

How much time do you set aside each day to marvel at the universe in which we live? When was the last time you drove out onto a dark country road and stared up at the night sky in amazement? Or when was the last time you sat quietly on a beach and listened to the majesty, power and timelessness that is the ocean?

If you are like me, you are probably guilty of taking all of this for granted. We get so caught up in the complications and chaos of life that we forget to appreciate where we are, when we are, and what we have.

You are a wonder of biology. Whether you feel that we are evolved, designed or created, can we just agree that the human body is an incredible organism? No technology even comes close.

Your mind is unfathomable. We can dream, feel, think, talk and adapt in a universe that we barely understand, yet we can create, design, and build in a way that just blows the mind.

We as a species have left the earth and returned safely. In the future, we will colonize other worlds, and plant our footprints and flags on planets that have never known our touch.

We are capable of loving and being loved. Despite heartbreak, fears, loneliness and pain, we push forward in our relationships and understandings. Do we fall sometimes, of course, but we manage to get up again.

If life has worn you down with its weight, I invite you today to view your world through the eyes you used when you were five years old.

Look around you at the technology, the majesty, humanity and nobility that surrounds you.

Look up, look around, and feel again that sense of wonder. This universe, galaxy, and planet; your country, town, home, and yourself. All of them are miracles.

Today, celebrate life, celebrate yourself, and celebrate wonder.

And rise.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: Giving yourself permission to let go.

Giving yourself permission to let go.

Humanity comes with a price – awareness, sentience, choice. Each of us holds that precious balance between what we could do, and what we choose to do. Often we have our own set of rules, that we have adopted from that which we have observed, and that which we have decided for ourselves.

In short, we have a definition of ourselves that dictates who we are, how we behave, and often even how we feel.

But sometimes, these self-rules prevent us from acting in our own self interests, especially when it comes to letting go of old self-beliefs.

When I am coaching with someone, and they use the phrase “I am” followed by a definition, I will often explore with them that definition, so that they may come to a greater knowledge of themselves.

You would be surprised the number of times that we find out that a self definition, especially one that is preventing progress, was created after a painful interaction with a parent, a spouse or a friend. These definitions can create pain, heartache and sadness for many years, even if that definition has no basis in reality.

An example would be the woman who thinks she is overweight, because a well meaning but poorly executing parent tells her that she needs to lose “just a few pounds’. Another example would be a man who was told as a teenager that he would ‘always be a problem’ and has adopted that belief into his soul and so acts accordingly.

Or maybe it’s the parent who is blinded by their expectation of what “should be” and who instead misses out on all that they actually do have with their children.

If, in your self-reflection, you find that you have some of these difficult self definitions, I invite you today to question them, and see if this is something that you can let go.

Letting go does not make you a bad person, nor does it make you ungrateful to a person who may have been trying to help.

It simply means that you are using your sentience, your awareness and your power to choose to determine your own future, and travel down your own pathway in the way that you feel best reflects the truth of your being.

If all you are waiting for is permission to become who you know you really are, then this is your permission slip.

Be kind, know yourself and become.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: Each day, sometimes each hour, brings change.

Each day, sometimes each hour, brings change.

I love spring and fall. While winter and summer have their attractions, for me there is nothing better than a crisp spring or fall morning. In spring, we see life affirming its strength, as new things grow and prepare to make our world a better, brighter and more beautiful place. In fall, we see life affirming its wisdom, as it changes to prepare to endure the harsh winter and begin again in the spring.

In self examination, I realize that I like these two seasons most of all because they represent transition, movement, progression. It is much the same for me in an airport or a train station. The feeling of freedom, newness; a future always beckoning me onwards.

But I also find that I focus too easily on the next, the new or the novelty, and lose my focus of this moment, now, today.

Yet there are also changes that I dislike. A new wrinkle or a new gray hair in my beard. Signs that indicate changes I can’t control.

The truth is that change is a constant, but we only like the changes that we want. We don’t like the changes that in some way threaten our core needs.

The more I come to accept that I cannot control all the changes, the more I am able to focus my energy and intention onto the areas of my life that I can control. The less I allow the small changes to bother me, the less time I spend wasting my emotional energy on activities that do not benefit me.

When time is your currency, focus your wealth, and energy your power, choose to spend them in a deep, determined and disciplined manifestation of all that you CAN change, and spend less time worrying about that which you cannot.

It is said that time is a healer, but it is also your helper.

Spend your time today in pursuit of your greatest you. You won’t regret it.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: Do you struggle being kind to yourself?

Do you struggle being kind to yourself?

Over the years of my journey into self awareness, I think I have slowly become kinder to others. I have always tried to treat other people well regardless of how I feel about them, but deep in my heart there was often judgment instead of compassion, and coldness where there could have been warmth.

But the further I have walked into my journey of awareness, the greater a depth of compassion I have found for people. I can see, or at least I think I can see, why they sometimes behave in ways that are not their best selves.

Like someone who cannot keep a secret, who is in actuality lonely and looking for ways to connect; or a person who only contacts me when they need something but who is really suffering from a deep well of personal insignificance; or another person who continually grasps at money even though they have sufficient for their needs but who is actually seeking to fill a deep personal wound of feeling less than everyone else.

As I see their patterns, and I understand how their wounds precipitate their actions, I find that I am moved by compassion to have less frustration at their behaviors, and instead a greater patience and willingness to forgive.

This is still hard for me, but I can say with honesty that I am getting better at being kinder to other people.

Yet I still struggle immensely with self kindness, and self compassion. Behaviors I can forgive in others are ones that I condemn myself for. The peace which I am able to help others achieve seems much harder to find for myself.

In short, I am my harshest critic, and my greatest source of condemnation.

But I have begun to find ways through this.

As I examine my own self stories, I have found ways to interject compassionate self talk into my judgments, and realize some small measure of change in the way that I see myself.

While there is still frustration, there is sometimes compassion; while there is still anger, sometimes there is love; while there is still a fervent desire to move forward to achieve what I believe I am capable of, there is occasionally a willingness to allow myself to rest.

Ultimately, peace is found through self acceptance, self compassion, and self love. If you are struggling with this, please don’t give up.

You are worth far more than you feel about yourself, and I truly believe that you have a part to play in our ongoing progression.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the gift of compassion.

You are worth it.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbdc

Morning Reflection: The truth will set you free, but first you have to find it.

The truth will set you free, but first you have to find it.

As human beings, we use stories in our heads to explain our experiences. The story of our childhood, the story of our relationship, the story of why something didn’t work out or why we can’t achieve something.

But how often are those stories true?

As a parent, I’ve had to try to talk to my two wonderful boys about something that happened, and marveled at how they have two very different stories about why something got broken, or why a disagreement started. It’s instinctive as a child, and often still as an adult, to create a story in our mind that reflects what we want to have happened or to happen, rather than what did, or what could.

Stories are so very powerful because once they are told, we rarely go back to examine their veracity. They are accepted as truth, and we live our lives from the meanings we draw from them.

When was the last time you questioned the stories that you tell yourself in your head? The more I examine the truth of my own stories, I find meanings that enable me to justify my actions, live in my comfort zone and sometimes justify my continued bad opinion of another.

If we are not careful, we find ourselves writing the stories in our heads to meet our 6 human needs, but not in a way that positively encourages our growth.

Today, I invite you to reflect on the deepest stories that you tell yourself, and see if they are really true, or shaded to protect you and limit your vulnerability.

The more adept you becoming at seeing the real truth behind the stories you tell yourself, the greater self knowledge you will achieve, and the more at peace you will feel.

Know yourself, accept yourself, live yourself, and find peace.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@losingtowin120

Morning Reflection: The Eye in your Identity

The Eye in your Identity.

It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Truly a miracle, our eyes speak as loud, if not louder, than our words. Joy, pain, hatred, love; all of these are communicated to the outside world by the very thing that we use to see that world.

Unfortunately though, we don’t always trust what our eyes show us. Even though our vision shows us as we are, many of us suffer with a picture of ourselves that is not supported by the things that we actually see.

Why don’t we trust the picture in the mirror? Why do we see others as better, and ourselves as the perpetual underdog in a competition that exists nowhere outside of our minds?

Seeing is believing they say, but we seem to have a hard time believing what we see when it speaks to our value, our worth, our goodness.

Today, I’d like to invite you to see yourself as if from another’s perspective. To do this, strip away all the negative self beliefs that you have, and really focus on all of the good things that you could see about yourself, if you really wanted to.

If you will allow it, there will come a feeling of peace as you being to see yourself as a true reflection. The world tries endlessly to make you feel less than you can see.

But only when you see and understand that you are enough, will you be able to find a sense of calmness in your soul, and be able to reach out to others with everything you have.

Today, see you. The real you. See your goodness, see your love, see your worth.

And believe.

-- Dr. Alan Barnes

@maddrbmusings