Often as I talk with people about their goals, dreams and aspirations, the concept of failure is the quiet unspoken monster lurking behind their words. What happens if I try and it doesn’t work out? What would people say about me, how will I feel?
The fear of failure has killed more dreams and stifled more aspirations than actual failure ever has. In my life, I have allowed fear of failure to enslave me and prevent me from trying and achieving.
But it’s rarely the actuality of failure that we are afraid of. That’s simply something “not working out”. What we fear is what that failure would ‘mean about us’, and how it would affect our sense of significance and worth.
Where did this harmful and destructive belief come from? Anyone who has ever become great at anything has failed many times over. Why don’t we celebrate the effort, the intent, the willingness to risk and the acceptance of the possibility of things not working out?
Because we are afraid of judgment, both others and our own.
Because somewhere in our societal evolution, we accepted the lie that not achieving some arbitrary standard said something about who we are as a person.
Because we ourselves have adopted the falsehood that our worth is measured by what we achieve.
How would your life be different if you built failure into your plans? I am trying to do this now. As I evolve through my journey, I am beginning to plan for failure, which is just simply things ‘not working out’.
If I plan for things to not work out, then I can accept that risk easier, knowing that it doesn’t say anything about me, but is simply a reflection of the reality that things can go wrong, and sometimes do.
Changing ‘failure’ to ‘not working out’ is a small shift of language, but a powerful release of energy into the channel of your dreams and aspirations.
How has this fear held you back, and what can you change with this small understanding?
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
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